Know Thyself

… my two hours today have just changed all the blue feeling inside. Right now, I am feeling very confident and proud of myself (Smile!). Life is sooooooo beautiful.

Thank you for the reading. Good night, ppl!

"Actually it’s not that difficult to get scholarship, whether we are serious or not determines it : lazy or not to find the information (the power of information!). Plus, 94% people fail because of the mistakes of filling the form : incomplete or mistakenly read the commands asked. So the form becomes invalid." — someone over the rainbow.

Thank you. The words are so good to be read again and again. Motivational!

I don’t know why but suddenly, right this moment, I feel very blessed :).
Happy weekend, ppl!

I have a week.

I am so lazy to pack all the things in the room because parts of me still want me to stay 0_o. I have been here for almost four years!

I remember the first time being here, without friends. I don’t even know where to go to eat, to shop, to buy the pails, the soap, the pan, etc etc. I don’t have someone to ask except the security hahaha! But he was also a newbie since this building was still new four years ago. He didn’t knew much. He pointed a direction and said, "Perhaps you need to go there. I think there is a restaurant there." I then tried to go but I found nothing so I came back. Well, that’s a very old story. I’m lazy to continue …
Also , in the first week here, I often stood up, looked outside the window, crying, because I missed my family so much! The young me hahaha………

Although it needs a few months to make me comfortable with this place, I am still here. I am so happy I have ever been here, very. I have loved this place so much so much.

It’s been a comfort zone for me. I am not a person who can adapt
quickly in a new environment though if I am forced to, I will. It’s so hard to leave. But I know sometimes you need to go out from the place and make another place to be another comfort zone, more comfortable than the former.

Well … well … well.

There is no now.

There will be no future.

Obviously.

Too many interviews make me feel not excited anymore.

To note :

• Fuxxxxst Texxxxxxgy’s interviewer is very cute
• The interview with Crexxxve was very funny
• I felt very stupid when being interviewed by Ifxxxe
• I don’t like the interviewer of iFxxxstRexxuit. Annoying face and words!

Those are four companies need to be mentioned. I hope they don’t read this. If so, then … nothing gonna happens actually, sensored already. Will add some if I had additional interesting experiences. 

So many people asked me this question when they knew I would be coming to Singapore, "So how will be your relationship?"

I wonder whether I am the one who feels that it is such a ridiculous question or not. But I did feel like that. I am sorry!

I know there are some people think that I am so selfish. I am not trying to change their minds for I am the only person who knows exactly what I feel when I have to leave all the lovely things for something uncertain. I am sure they don’t know more than I do.

I don’t consider what I have chosen is more important than everything else. It is definitely not. Both are important and I cannot decide what is the more.

Family, lovers, and friends, the good ones are supposed to love and support you wherever you are. Why do I have to choose if I can have the both sides?  So perhaps, the answer for their common questions will be, "I will no wonder maintain it. "

Though many people fail, there are many people succeed maintain their long distance relationship.  As I ever said to a friend, "If somehow my relationship fails, I won’t blame the distance as I don’t see any reasons to do. It is like a test. A good relationship has to work well no matter it is close or far. If it fails then there is something wrong with other elements. The sooner you know, the better it is. Feel lucky!" 

It is difficult to maintain. But when you pass it, I believe your quality of relationship will increase.

It is my answer. I hope I am not asked the same question. I am bored.

PS : I am so happy for my friends. They finally get good jobs :).

So here I am, still jobless of course :), feeling a little bit proud to mention it, I don’t know why. It’s been (happily if I can type ‘just’ without feeling guilty) 1 month and 3 days since I am graduated. Some friends have already got good jobs =D. Some are so desperate of having so many aptitude tests and interviews but haven’t been accepted in anywhere. Well …

A conversation by phone with a best friend of mine :

…………………

Me : "I’m so afraid of not getting a job.

B : "How old are you? 21, and you are already graduated. Fyi, I can be a specialist doctor at 35, minimal. You are still very young. Let us talk about the worst case. You don’t get a job there, you go back here. You don’t get a job here, you can still apply hundreds of other companies. You have just applied 10-20." (While all my friends and I already feel that we have applied too many …….. finally there is someone say it is too less)

Me : "Even after I get a job, I am afraid of being the stupidest in the office. The boss gets angry with me and regret that he has hired me."

B : "Your GPA doesn’t show it. Why do you keep saying that you are stupid? You aren’t! But you can be what your mind says. Actually perhaps it won’t happen, but you make it come true because of your own fear and pessimist attitude. If you cannot do something, just learn it, say to your boss ‘I haven’t learnt it at the university, I will learn it at home’. Of course, try and learn harder and harder from now. "

Me : "We cannot say he is smart or not from GPA. What do you choose, in a small company while not too many experiences needed, or in a big one but you don’t have many skills required?"

B : "Yup, but I do see something from it. And definitely I will choose the bigger. Reach the highest you can. In the future you can regret not doing something bigger while you have the opportunities to do but you won’t regret for doing something big even if finally you fail." (Well said!)

……………..

So for the desperado friends :), like what we together believe, be optimist and proudly say, "I wonder what lucky company will be my first stop of the long journey :)". Don’t give up! When being afraid is something uncontrolled, we need to keep moving and face it. Hahaha!!

Me as Libra said : "Read the fs horoscope everyday, starting from today … it’s almost always quite true!"

by : Vitamin C

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we’re gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won’t be coming back
No more hanging out cause we’re on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don’t have another day
Cause we’re moving on and we can’t slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn’t know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin’ on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we’d get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life’s not fair
And this is how it feels

Chorus:
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won’t interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly
And this is how it feels

*Repeat chorus*

La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it’s like we’re women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly

*Repeat chorus 3x*

PS : in the beginning of March, I feel so blue T___T